From an Email - Sent by Mags!
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
Advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see
that's going on.
(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out
of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded
"administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise
that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention
of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by
a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy
their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still
has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home
after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival
home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember
where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC. Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2
hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat
visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for
the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the
typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars'
comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food
restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely
impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought
in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night
while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away
all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with
stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday
morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with,
and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)
PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's
a bit Pearl Harbour" out there (there's a nasty nip in the
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so
she looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY. A deeply unattractive woman
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young